Have To?

I remember well an insight I received while reading a blog post many years ago. The man who had written the words that were burned into my heart and brain the moment I read them had no idea the impact his words had on me. (Thankfully, I did get the opportunity to tell him, much later on!)

In the post, he wrote about what was going on as his brother battled cancer. He wrote, “I have to do [thus and so] for him today.” But the writer immediately corrected himself, saying, “I get to do [thus and so] for him today.” I don’t recall whether the writer explained the huge difference in “have to” and “get to” but I saw it and resolved to avoid saying (and feeling) that I “have to” do this or that. For example, instead of saying, “I have to unload the dishwasher,” I will learn to say, “I get to unload the dishwasher.”

Now, that’s not a job I look forward to, but by changing from “I have to” to “I get to” my attitude shifts from negative to positive. Saying, “I get to” reminds me to be thankful for so many things: that I have dishes to use, that those dishes were filled with food and drink, that family members and I enjoyed meals together as we “dirtied” the dishes, that I have a dishwasher, that I have clean (and hot) water in which to wash them, that I am physically able to do household chores, that I am living in my own home….

Dear Reader, do you see how what appears to be a simple word change makes an ENORMOUS difference in our attitude? If you do see it, then resolve with me to banish “I have to” from all conversations.

Open my eyes that I may see

Glimpses of truth thou hast for me.

~Clara H. Scott, 1895