Grief and Gratitude

As I write these words, today is day 116 since my husband passed away. I’ve felt particularly sad and lonely today, which happens when I stay home all day and don’t keep busy, busy, busy. Obviously, activities and conversations mask the grief. But, oh my, I feel the full force of it when I’m alone and not focusing on projects and other tasks on my to-do list. But sometimes I have no choice but to let my tired body rest.

To escape the grief, I went to visit a friend in a nearby nursing home. She was delighted to see me, for she deals with griefs of her own. I was happy to be with her. We talked of many things as we sat outside while relaxing in the sunshine and listening to the birds chirping as they flew among the branches of the trees and boxwoods.

When I returned home, I noticed the first rose of the season on the bush my husband had planted years ago. My heart filled with happiness when I saw it, thankful that the work he had done long ago was lifting my spirits. I looked around the yard and saw not one, but two, pink and white amaryllis blooms--bigger than my palm--with other buds in the background. Once again, I felt grateful for his planting them.

As with most things these days, even a happy thought of days gone by can lead to tears as I realize those days are gone. He will plant no more flowers. But I can enjoy the ones he planted, even as I brush away the tears. 

Every day, I see other gifts he left behind, each a reminder of his love. And I whisper a heartfelt thank you to him and to God who gave us many years together as husband and wife, years when we made wonderful, now bittersweet, memories.

Give a Rose

A friend of mine always prefaces a compliment by saying, "Now, [name], I'm going to give you a rose."

She prefers to "give roses" while her friends are living and can savor her sweet words and be uplifted by them rather than to give a wreath of roses after her loved ones have passed away.

The Bible says gracious words (pleasant words, kind words) are sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (See Proverbs 16:24.)

Give a rose to someone today! 

Memories

Three residents of the local nursing home had circled up in the lobby and were laughing as Reba talked about some of her experiences during childhood. I paused to listen to the lively account she was giving about a wreck she’d had when she’d taken a wild ride on a bicycle down a steep hill in her neighborhood. Then she told about the fun she and her siblings and friends had had decorating a tree house with all sorts of items, including a “borrowed” set of her mama’s best sheets.

Despite being wheelchair-bound, her voice was animated and happy; her eyes sparkled with long-remembered memories of good times. And we who were privileged to hear her wonderful stories laughed along with her, vicariously enjoying her experiences while recalling similar ones we’d had.

As I drove home, I wondered if the person who said, “God gives us memories that we might have roses in December” was referring to memories that flourish like summer roses in the gardens of our minds even as the winter season of our lives afflicts and weakens our bodies. 

Oh, Dear Reader, how blessed we are to be able to recall pleasant memories that provide a welcomed respite from wheelchairs and worries. 

In fact, the Bible reminds us to treasure memories of people and experiences and to thank God for them. It urges us to remember God and His love for us and His tender care of us through the years. (See Philippians 1:3, Deuteronomy 4:9, Luke 1:66, Jeremiah 2:2, etc.)

Remember the good times. Thank God for them. Tell others about them--and Him!