I'm Not Perfect!

While working on a special project, I looked through hundreds of columns I've written since 1984. When I read this one, written in 2003, I decided to share it with you.

A stranger e-mailed to say she reads and enjoys my columns. When I thanked her for writing, she sent another e-mail, telling me a bit about her life. In closing, she said, “I didn't mean to bend your ear so; but, as I said, you talk like a friend and family.”

Thrilled by that compliment, I sent her an e-mail, saying, “Thank you for helping me to know you. I love it when readers do that! And I appreciate your saying that I sound like a friend and family member. I hope that means I sound ‘real,’ for I do want to be authentic and open, rather than ‘holier than thou,’ which sometimes happens when one writes a ‘religious’ column.

“Actually, I am (painfully!) aware of how often I stumble and how much I struggle to overcome habits that I should have conquered years ago. Whenever I admit such struggles, I'm ‘plumb embarrassed,’ and I wonder what readers think of me.”

When I re-read those e-mail messages, I thought about the advice successful “inspirational” writers often give. “Tell the truth. Be vulnerable. Don’t try to make your readers think you are perfect or that you have it 'all together.'" 

Although it is embarrassing to admit one’s failures, a writer who urges readers to become more Christ-like must be willing to at least imply, “I’m not perfect, but I am trying to become more like Christ. Let’s journey together toward that goal.”

And it’s progress toward that goal, rather than perfection, that we seek. As long as we are in this life, we will make mistakes. We will stumble. We will sin—sometimes unintentionally, sometimes willfully.

David and Paul (who, under the inspiration of God’s Spirit, wrote major portions of the Bible) often confessed their faults and failures. Yet, we (the readers) turn again and again to their writings. Why? Knowing we are not the only ones who try and fail…try and fail…makes us feel better!

Instead of encouraging us to wallow in the mire of our humanity, the testimonies of others inspire us to get up and try again. For example, when David says,“ I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me” (Psalm 51:3, New International Version), we say, “That’s true of me, too.” So we read on, eager to find out how David deals with his guilt.

When David prays, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me…Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me” (Psalm 51:10, 12, NIV), we say, “Ah! I need to do that, too.”

Like David, the Apostle Paul often referred to his shameful past, but he always quickly pointed out how God had been gracious and merciful to a sinner such as he. (See 1 Timothy 1:12-17.)

From such stories, we learn that God will extend unmerited mercy and grace to us, also. And we, along with untold millions, might have missed knowing that (and other wonderful truths, as well,) if David and Paul had been too ashamed to admit they weren’t perfect.

Water from the Well

Although this is NOT the well that was on our back porch,
it is similar to it.

When I was a young child, I’d watch my parents draw water from a well that was on the back porch. They’d let a bucket down into the well, wait a few minutes for it to fill up, and then slowly bring it back up by laboriously turning the crank on the windlass. The bucket would wobble in mid-air until they grabbed it with their free hand and set it on one of the wooden boards that surrounded the opening of the well. Then they’d pour the water into clean containers such as basins, jars, and pails. On “wash day” or “canning day” the bucket had to be lowered and brought up many times in order to provide adequate water for those tasks. Yet, despite the number of buckets that were drawn up, water was always available. 

Although I begged to draw water, I was never allowed to do so because that job was for people much stronger than I. Thankfully, Mama and Daddy were strong enough to bring the water up and were willing to share it with my sister and me.

Getting water is much easier these days. All my husband and I have to do to get water to quench our thirst or to wash whatever needs cleaning is to turn on a faucet, thanks to an electric pump and an assortment of PVC pipes that bring water into our house from a well deep inside the earth. Regardless of how the water comes forth, I'm thankful for it.

As I reflect on the blessing of having an abundant supply of thirst-quenching, life-sustaining water, I think about the term “filling the well” that’s used by writers and other creative people to refer to experiences that inspire and instruct them so that they, in turn, can bring forth something of value to share with others.

I pray that my well never runs dry, though I’ve been drawing from it for many years. To ensure that it doesn’t, I read the Bible and pray every day. As I do my housework and exercise my body, I listen to sermons and Christian music at www.bbnradio.org. When I sit down to rest, I read what other Christians have written. I’m deeply grateful for insights others have drawn from their well and shared with me so that I can fill mine.

O Father, create within me a clean heart so that the water from my well will always be pure and satisfying, as well as abundant.

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.

~Jesus in Luke 6:64, NLT

With God's Help

Sometimes I feel so inadequate, especially when I look at the long list of things I need to do or whenever a task seems too difficult. And when I think about how well others appear to be doing with their tasks, I feel even more inadequate—and less inclined to do whatever is before me.

That's what’s been happening to me in recent days. Since I’ve felt inadequate to write anything that others will find meaningful, I’ve kinda given up on writing anything, despite the fact that I know with absolute certainty God has called me to write messages about His love (and comfort and encouragement and…) and share them with fellow pilgrims along life’s journey. Instead of writing, I’ve been reading the writings of authors, who, in my opinion, are far more effective than I am. Thus, I’ve let my feelings of inadequacy paralyze me.  

But today, as I listened to an on-line Bible study led by Bob Dowie, he seemed to be speaking directly to me when he said, “Whatever gift God gives you, He will give you the grace to use it.”

So, after confessing my sin of disobedience to the call of God upon my life and asking Him to help me be faithful and effective in His service, I sat down and began writing these words in the hope that they will encourage you, Dear Reader, to do whatever God has called you to do and/or to face whatever difficulty He’s set before you, knowing that God will give you (and me!) whatever we need to accomplish His purposes.

I can do all things 

through him 

who strengthens me.

~The Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:13, ESV

Refreshing Water

I am awed by the way various writers convey similar messages on any given morning during the hour or more I spend praying and reading the Bible, devotional books, and hymnals before I began to write a blog post.

Even though the Bible and the other books were written by various authors in various centuries, the “message of the day” is basically the same! And, even more astonishing, each one relates to what I am experiencing at that time. How is this possible? I wonder. How do they know how to write so specifically to my need on any given morning? How do ministers and hymn writers do the same kind of thing?????

According to John Gill, the famous Puritan pastor, here’s how the process works: The doctrines (teachings) a godly person absorbs and fills his heart with and which his mouth utters are like pure, purifying, and refreshing water. And the wellspring of wisdom within such a person is like a flowing brook, like a spring of spiritual wisdom and knowledge within him. From there “it flows freely and constantly; communicating itself liberally unto others, and ministering grace to the hearers [and readers!], for their edification [instruction, enlightenment, guidance]” Gill’s Exposition of the Entire  Bible.

I am indescribably grateful for such godly people who freely share truths they’ve gleaned. And I long to be one of them.

The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters;

the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.

Proverbs 18:4, ESV