Bittersweet

 Mother's Day is bittersweet for me. How is it for you?

I'm missing my own precious mother, who departed this life eleven years ago. I'm missing my sweet mother-in-law, who was like a mother to me. She left us on Mother's Day weekend six years ago. I'm rejoicing in my two daughters and their families who bring me such joy (and call me "Nana"). I'm feeling thankful for all the good and godly women who have  "mothered" me in ways too numerous to mention. 

As I searched the Internet for a poem to share with you, I came across several that impacted me, including the two below. Then I remembered one I'd written about my mother in 2006 but hadn't shared with you. 

As you read the poems below, I encourage you to find a way to express the thoughts in YOUR heart. Write them out. And, if you feel comfortable, share them with someone else as a gift from your heart to theirs. But even if no one sees your words except you, expressing your feelings will be cathartic--better than a session with a therapist! Even better: always do as Psalm 62:8 says, "Pour out your heart before God." He loves you. He hears you. He will help you.

https://rachelwojo.com/a-prayer-to-empower-moms-3/

The following is an excerpt from a poem written by a mother's son as he imagined what she would say and feel as she coped with his death. The link below the excerpt contains the entire poem, a letter he wrote to his mother, etc. But even if you have time to read only this portion of the poem, I'm sure you can feel the bittersweet emotion it expresses.

But I will speak their names to my own heart
In the long nights;
The little names that were familiar once
Round my dead hearth.
Lord, thou art hard on mothers:
We suffer in their coming and their going;
And tho' I grudge them not, I weary, weary
Of the long sorrow - And yet I have my joy:
My sons were faithful, and they fought.

https://www.irishamericanmom.com/the-mother-by-patrick-pearse/

Yellow. Yellow. Yellow.

I smiled as I prepared a greeting card to mail to Linda, who has been my friend for over 50 years. (I’d chosen that card for her because it had so much yellow on it--and also came with a yellow envelope.) Below my signature, I wrote: “I remember how much you’ve always loved yellow. (You even did your bathroom in that color!) I’m hoping that this card will bring a smile to your face and add a bright spot to your room.”

That card triggered “yellow” memories. For instance, during the four years Linda and I attended the same college, the yellow rose was our class flower. Consequently, we and our fellow classmates sent and/or received yellow roses on special occasions.

I also love the sight of yellow daffodils that often bloom as early as mid-January. I think they add such a beautiful splash of color to winter’s drab landscape.

Although I seldom wear yellow clothing, I do love having that color nearby. Yellow leaves in the fall. Yellow corn on my plate. Yellow lemons on the trees in our yard. Yellow bananas in the fruit bowl. Yellow bell peppers in the garden. Yellow finches at the bird feeders.…

Why? According to Internet sources, most people associate yellow with happiness and spontaneity and gentleness. Some, however, associate yellow with jealousy and cowardice and greed. As for me, yellow helps me feel cheerful (and sentimental). So, I’ll continue to delight in splashes of yellow everywhere God graciously allows me to see them.

Little Steps

As this year draws to a close, I feel a mix of emotions, don’t you? Gratitude for all the blessings I’ve received. Sadness over the passing of loved ones. Concern over the seemingly unsolvable situations in the world. Regret over things done or left undone. Overwhelm regarding things yet to do.

I can’t do anything about some of those things, but I know from previous experience that if I’ll declutter my personal spaces, I’ll feel much more hopeful and function more efficiently as I do the things I can do. 

However, even improving my workspace seems a daunting task. But the day I vowed to sort and file the accumulated items in my “to be done” stack, I came across a 3x5 card on which I'd scribbled these words several months ago: “find little ways forward.”

As I dealt with the stack, I said to myself, Think about what runners do. When they’re running a marathon (26.2 miles) or a shorter distance, they do it one step at a time. Step by step, from start to finish, they stay on the course marked out for them. They know that each step brings them closer to the finish line. They don’t lollygag around or quit. They don’t look back. They look ahead, eager to reach the finish line. That’s what I’ll do in regard to sorting this stuff and to finishing important projects that I’ve set aside for far too long.

Encouraged by that insight, I’m feeling less overwhelmed and more determined than ever to find little ways forward in the New Year. I hope you are too.

Five Minute Friday: Love Lifts

I wrote these words in five minutes in response to a writing prompt (lift) provided by Kate Motaung at www.FiveMinuteFriday.com.

Since childhood, I’ve known the words to the old hymn, Love Lifted Me. But the older I get, the more those words mean to me. The Lord’s love lifts my spirits when I’m feeling down. It encourages me when I’m tempted to give up. It causes me to pause throughout the day and just thank HIm and praise Him.

Love from other people lifts me, too, as does the love I feel for others. Love for the work I do lifts me.

How does love lift you?

Newly-Prioritized List

When I looked at today’s TO DO list, I thought, I’ll NEVER be able to get all this done! Not in one day. Not in two. Not in three.

Immediately, I felt the all-too-familiar feelings of frustration and despair. I cried out, “Please, Father, show me what to do!” And He did, just as Proverbs 3:5-6 says He will!

He said, in essence, “Your top two priorities each and every day are to honor Me and to meet the needs of others. Do those things first, and then do other tasks as you have time.”

Image by Deedster from Pixabay.com

I immediately looked at my list and prioritized the tasks according to what He had said. Now that’s He’s made it clear to me what to do first and second and ..., I no longer feel defeated and stressed. As soon as I finish writing this (which is one of the tasks I do to honor Him and to minister to others), I’ll get up and begin the next thing on my newly-prioritized list. Throughout the day, I’ll continue to work calmly and confidently.

Wisdom from the Word

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on [DO NOT RELY ON, DO NOT TRUST IN] your own understanding [INSIGHT]; [BUT] in all your ways acknowledge Him [SEEK HIS WILL, SUBMIT TO HIM, KNOW HIM] and He shall direct your paths [SHOW YOU / MAKE PLAIN WHICH PATHS TO TAKE] .

Proverbs 3:5-6, NKJV

Note: When I’m trying to better understand what a verse means, I type it from one translation and then use www.blueletterbible.com to see how other versions translate it. I add those additional insights (typed in ALL CAPS) to the translation I used initially. This takes time and looks a bit messy, but it helps me better understand the verse(s). Perhaps you’d like to try that????

Where Do I Get Them?

As I became sleepily aware of a new day dawning, I activated the BBN Radio app on my cell phone. I smiled as I listened to an upbeat, happy, easy-to-remember song my children and I sang many years ago. It’s been given various titles such as I’ve Got Love Like a River In My Soul and I’ve Got Peace Like a River. Later that day, I listened to several renditions of it on YouTube. Here’s the link to my favorite: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1NlZO57W0eE

The song mentions having peace like a river, love like an ocean, and joy like a fountain in our souls. I love the imagery, don’t you? And who doesn’t want to have abundant peace, love, and joy within? 

The writer of the song (John O. Schroeder) doesn’t tell us where to get them. But the Bible does. For example:

• In John 14:27 (KJV), Jesus says to His troubled disciples, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
• Jesus also said to them (and to you and me!), "As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love"(John 15:9, KJV). The apostle Paul says (in Romans 8) that nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate us from God's love.
• In John 15:11 (KJV), Jesus also said to His followers, "These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full." 

Now we know where we get peace, love, and joy like a river in our souls! From Jesus! And He never fails to keep us well supplied. 

Aren't we glad our supply depends on Him rather than people or circumstances?

Believing Mirrors

In Finding Water: The Art of Perseverance, author Julia Cameron writes about the importance of having what she calls “believing mirrors” in our lives. By that she means, trusted friends who encourage us by speaking the truth to us when we're being tempted to believe lies about ourselves. For instance, when we’re bingeing on negative thoughts about ourselves, believing mirrors tell us the truth about ourselves rather than agree with the distorted view we currently have.

For example, if we think our writing is no good, a believing mirror might say, “You’ve put a lot of time and thought into this work, and you have some really good stuff here! If you’ll do a little more editing, you can make your words shine.”  

Believing mirrors see the potential in us. But instead of using flattery to lift our spirits, they speak the truth—in love. Thus, they’re honest, yet never cruel. When we don’t like the “me” we see in our mirror, when all we can see are our flaws, we can turn to these believing mirrors who will help us see a more accurate image of ourselves by pointing out some of our good features.

However, the truest mirror is the word of God, which was penned by many truth tellers who lived in centuries past. The words they wrote, under the inspiration of God’s Holy Spirit, are the truest words of all. The more you and I know those truths (like Ephesians 2:10), believe them, and then base our thinking and our actions on them, the more accurate a picture we'll see of ourselves. As more and more truth dwells within us, the more hopeful and confident we become. And...we become better believing mirrors for those who turn to us in search of truth and comfort.

Christmas Cards

Note: I wrote the following article in 1999, but it continues to express how I feel. Perhaps you, too, Dear Reader, can relate.

     

I always delay getting started on the annual project of mailing Christmas cards for I know it will take considerable time during the season of the year when extra time is hard to come by.

For me, the first and most difficult step is updating the names and addresses stored in my computer. Every year, I release a deep sigh as I realize how many changes need to be made in the Christmas card list. Some of our friends have moved; others have merely switched from a street to a post office box address or vice versa. In some families, marriages of adult children require me to change the names of the recipients from “Mr. & Mrs….and daughters” to “Mr. & Mrs.…and family” in order to include the new son-in-law. Sometimes I need to add the name of a new baby, but not so this year.

As I make the changes, I rejoice with those who have an address change due to the finding of a new job that required them to relocate; with those who moved closer “home;” and with those who, following retirement, moved into their much-dreamed-about house on the beach or in the mountains.

     
However, I find myself blinking back tears as I delete the names of those who have passed away since last Christmas. In several situations, a “Mr. and Mrs.” becomes either a “Mr.” or a “Ms.” I update those changes easily by pointing and clicking my mouse and then making a few key strokes. As I do so, I become acutely aware that the surviving spouse and family members find changes infinitely more difficult to make.

As I remove the names of the deceased, I pause to reflect on each one.  I recall some of the experiences we shared. I think about the special things they did or said. I think about the things they liked. I think about where they lived. I think about the circumstances surrounding their death. And I know that I miss them this Christmas. 

In the midst of missing them, I give thanks for the impact each one had on my life. Thus, preparing Christmas cards is a bittersweet experience. Mourning the passing of loved ones.  Celebrating the gift of life others continue to receive. Weeping with those who are undergoing difficulties. Rejoicing with those whose dreams have been fulfilled. Acknowledging that certain relationships have come to an end. Welcoming new people into our circle of family and friends.  

Despite feeling such a range of emotions, I am able to look at every name on the list and say, as did the Apostle Paul, “Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God” (Philippians 1:3, New Living Translation). And, again using the words of the Apostle Paul, I can confidently say to each family, regardless of their situation, that “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them” (Romans 8:28, NLT), and “that nothing can ever separate us from His love” (Romans 8:38, NLT).

When I begin to give thanks to God for each person on the list, I see that all the steps involved in sending Christmas cards become a gateway to joy, and I wonder why I delay beginning the journey.

When Thro' Fiery Trials...

One Sunday morning when I was feeling especially overwhelmed by life—by all that must be done, by all the difficult decisions to make, and so forth, I found great comfort in the words to an old song our congregation sang during the morning worship service. The words to the song “How Firm a Foundation” were written by John Rippon in 1787. Even though the words are centuries old, their message remains true and timely.

I especially like truths such as these that are found in verse two, words the hymn writer senses God saying to him and words which I felt He was continuing to say to me that day:

Fear not I am with thee; O be not dismayed,

For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;

I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,

Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

More wonderful promises are found in the rest of the song, but I was drawn to the ones in verse four:

When thro’ fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,

My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;

The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design

Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

Note: To learn more about these promises, search the Scriptures, particularly Isaiah 43:2.

With God's Help

Sometimes I feel so inadequate, especially when I look at the long list of things I need to do or whenever a task seems too difficult. And when I think about how well others appear to be doing with their tasks, I feel even more inadequate—and less inclined to do whatever is before me.

That's what’s been happening to me in recent days. Since I’ve felt inadequate to write anything that others will find meaningful, I’ve kinda given up on writing anything, despite the fact that I know with absolute certainty God has called me to write messages about His love (and comfort and encouragement and…) and share them with fellow pilgrims along life’s journey. Instead of writing, I’ve been reading the writings of authors, who, in my opinion, are far more effective than I am. Thus, I’ve let my feelings of inadequacy paralyze me.  

But today, as I listened to an on-line Bible study led by Bob Dowie, he seemed to be speaking directly to me when he said, “Whatever gift God gives you, He will give you the grace to use it.”

So, after confessing my sin of disobedience to the call of God upon my life and asking Him to help me be faithful and effective in His service, I sat down and began writing these words in the hope that they will encourage you, Dear Reader, to do whatever God has called you to do and/or to face whatever difficulty He’s set before you, knowing that God will give you (and me!) whatever we need to accomplish His purposes.

I can do all things 

through him 

who strengthens me.

~The Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:13, ESV